Survey Responses

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Survey on Womens Rights

More about me

Beauty Sick

When we live in a society where advertisements boasting of their miraculous whitening abilities are the norm, where a girl with curly hair would be the butt of oh so many ‘funny’ racist jokes, where being fat is almost a criminal offence, whereas being too thin is a whole other problem. It would be hard to live in such a place and end up in a mental state that doesn’t have serious body image issues. We’ve all grown up in a world that is becoming meaner and more obsessed with the physical self. We’re all becoming more and more ‘beauty sick’

She had big hair. Her hair was always very curly and unruly and she hardly ever fit the description of a girl with ‘well-kempt’ hair. However she never noticed, children hardly ever do really care.

But then she started noticing things, stares from people she had never talked to, conversations instigated by others that often began with ‘ I think you would look absolutely gorgeous with straight hair’ or ‘ my cousin did this mystery treatment on her hair and now she’s very pretty’. She started to even get suggestions from her own parents, that maybe relaxing her hair would be the solution to all her problems, to all the bullying and to all the crying.

She grew up even more, she now felt obligated to straighten her hair whenever she went out, not because she wanted to, but because she thought it would make her life a bit easier. She was depressed, striving so very hard to fit society’s very narrow perception as to what is beautiful and what is not. When she told her friends that she was sick of all their teasing, It got worse because she was now considered a ‘poor-sport’. She wanted to scream but there was no one around that would bother listening.

She grew up a little more and relaxed her hair. Not because she wanted to, but because she felt she had to.

To persevere.

Human beings are remarkable creatures. When faced with troubles that could possibly shatter ones will to live, we some how move on. As a species we’re wired to survive.

She began her story like many that float around in Indian society, a family that boasts of nothing but a rich history, an alcoholic husband and one too many children than they could ever afford to feed, her life has always been one filled with many trials and tribulations.

It was on a warm sunny afternoon that I had the pleasure of meeting her, she looked younger than I expected a 70 year old woman to look like, and that she looked stronger, much stronger than the image of a frail old woman that I had in mind. And later on I discovered that it was no accident that she seemed so strong, for most of her life she ‘survived’ on the measly earnings from a job that involved carrying rocks from 7 in the morning to 5 in the afternoon. The job not only gave her a strong grip but also bent her knees, an affliction that will only get worse as time goes on.

What I found so remarkable about this woman however was how she had a literal ‘rising from the ashes’ moment. Her husband, a man who supposedly started drinking because he couldn’t bear how unfair life was, on a drunken stupor burned their house down to the ground. An action so ironic in the truest sense of the word, because now he had to live on the streets with his pregnant wife and two children. After this, her life got a lot harder, she had to live on the streets and of the kindness of the people she was surrounded by, which wasn’t much.

However she persevered and she survived, all because of ‘God’s grace’ she tells me with a smile.

Charity

Coming from a family of farmers and 5 daughters, she never expected much from her life.  She was the youngest, and from a young age she was treated more of as a burden, another mouth to feed, another girl to marry off. As soon as she was old enough to work, her position in the family elevated from being a mistake, to a person that was finally worth something- 30rs a month to be exact.

Finally she felt a sense of worth and belonging, however being a maid is harsh work for a 13 year old, however she failed to show any weaknesses and continued to work hard. At the end of the month, her pay day she stood outside, waiting patiently, expecting to finally feel loved by her own mother. However she was met instead with a cold stare, an insult and watched as money that she sweat over exchange hands. She recollected this incident down to the very last detail, it was at this point that she felt truly alone, she felt as if she had no place to call home.

But then she picked herself up and continued to work even harder, trying to not think about the how unfair her situation was. After a while she found her place of belonging in the house that she worked at, she made friends with the children of the family, she was finally loved by the lady of the house and soon she had blossomed into a young lady of 20, who caught the eye of a tailor from across the street.

And as all young love is, it was quick and intoxicating and she was married to him in less than a year, her family who cared not much about her but about the money that they made off of her was infuriated and denounced her from the family. But for her this was just the beginning of a life filled with endless opportunities, happiness and freedom, a life she could finally call her own.

But then real life hit her, like a truck. Her husband threw away all their money on multiple failed business ventures and failed to understand that he just wasn’t cut off for that kind of work, fixed on the idea that one day his business would take off and he would be suddenly met with immense wealth and success. She was diagnosed with having a weak heart which meant no manual labor and since her family never thought she would require an education she could no longer help out.

And to make matters even worse, her own daughter eloped at the age of 19. She then came back a year later asking the parents she abandoned for her ‘inheritance’. They sold their house and gave all their savings to her under the impression that she would be taking care of them now. She didn’t.

She now lives her days on her husbands meager salary working as a waiter and off money, charity to be exact that she receives when she goes around to peoples home to tell them all just how sad her life is.